Metal Gear High
by Wolfiesan
Summary: Snake and the rest of the Metal Gear cast, as they go through their High School years.


Yo people. Long time, no write. This is just a little MGS parody that I had an idea for and it's been bugging me for quite a while so i decided to finally get it down on paper...er...WordPad. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it, and all it's random ass humor that I've put into it. For you Big MGS fans out there, there will be some easy-to-point out referencesthat i've stuck in here, try and spot em. Well, lemme wrap up this intro so you can actually start reading the fic. Enjoy. **Note: I don't own the MGS series, and all the characters used here are property of Hideo Kojima, cuz he's friggin awsome..and cuz i don't wanna get sued.

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**Metal Gear High

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Snake rushed down the hall, he was running out of time. It was his first day of High School and he was already making a bad impression. Snake ran through the band hallway, as they were practicing for the fall concert. Catchy little tune they were playing...He'd have to use in the future for some kind of..theme song or something. He made his way down the foriegn language hall, bumping into people as he ran past them, and having profanities shouted at him in various dialects. There were only seconds remaining, and Snake's homeroom door was in sight...but there still wasn't enough time..it would be closed by the time he got there, and he didn't wanna go get a late pass from the damn D-Hall bastard...The Fury. He had heard bad things about that guy, and didn't feel like meeting him now. With almost fluid motion, snake pulls out his survival knife (which he carries everywhere he goes...never uses it though, oddly enough) and throws it the doorway, acting as a doorstop. He quickly dived his way through the door, landing inside the classroom with feline agility. There was an odd silence that fell over the classroom..

Snake whistled that catchy tune that he had heard earlier and took his seat. The other students in the classroom stared him down.

"What...is there something on my face...besides this camo paint of course..?"

The attention on Snake was detered when the bell finally rang and the door finally shut. The teacher for Snake's homeroom class, Ms. S. Wolf, started taking roll, going down the list.

"Solid Snake..?"

A ! appeared above Snake's head as he raised his hand.

Again, the class stared him down. Then finally one of the students spoke out at him. "Hey you douche, only we do that. Who the hell you think you are coming in here like you own the place with your fancy moves and stuff, noob?" The guy who addressed snake was dressed up in a bagdad beige camo uniform, and had a ski mask on. He was at most, 5 inches taller than Snake, which wasn't a whole world of difference. Snake was 5'8, so he thought he could take this guy if any shit started.

"Umm, noob...?" Snake questioned. "I'm a freshman if thats what you mean.."

There was a large mass of "OHHHH"s" around the classroom.

"Are you getting smart with me noob? I will Pwn you'z, for i am Leet, and you are a noob."

The Camo dressed student stood up in a fighting stance, ready to take on Snake.

"You've got to be kidding me right...i mean, you did see me throw that knife in the doorway and do all that cool shit, didn't you? I'm friggin Solid Snake for crying out loud."

Snake then proceeded to get up out of his desk, grab his opponents left arm, and placed his right foot in front of his opponent's legs. He then quickly pulled forward on the guys arm, causing him to fall forward over snakes foot, and then, finished him off with an elbow thrust in the back as he was falling forward.

"Hehe...Who would've known that three years of Ninja School would've actually helped?"

A pair of dog tags appeared on top of his defeated foe's body. He picked them up.

"Joe...Joe Momma...I'll remember that name.."

Snake back down in his seat, keeping his cool, as if nothing happened. He then heard applause, coming from the last person he expected it from, the teacher.

"Excellent work Snake." Exclaimed Ms.Wolf. "You should try to get into Advanced Henchman Takedown, I hear it's an excellent class. Anyways, lets continue with roll shall we? Lets see here...Liquid..Liquid Snake?"

At almost the exact moment as the words passed through Ms. Wolf's lips, there was a loud knocking at the door. Yup, it had to be him...Liquid.

"Hello, hello! Could you let me in please!" Liquid cried out in his screechy English voice. "I demand to be let in, right this instant!"

Ms. Wolf walked over to the door and looked through the window, down at liquid. He was a bit short. 4'9 to be exact.

"Sorry Liquid, but you'll have to go get a late slip. You should've been more effective in getting here, like your brother, Solid Snake. He carries a knife..and they're always helpful."

Liquid just stood there with a blank stare on his face, confused by the baffling about his brother and knives. Then he noticed the sharp blade poking out from the doorway. He then stomped off angrily, to meet his doom with the D-Hall teacher.

"Damn that brother of MINE...ehem...always outdoing me in everything..one day...one day i will have my revenge..just wait and see." Liquid stopped in the middle of the hallway for a dramatic pause. "Hahahahha...hahahhahaha...hahahahaHAAAA..." His voice was yet again cracking. He cleared his throat. "But before you Snake...i shall overcome my nemesis known as Puberty!" He continued with his maniacal laughter. The lights started getting darker.

"Wha...what the hell!"

The lights came back on.

"Oops, sorry." said the janitor that was standing right next to Liquid at the light panel. "I thought it would add for, well, you know, a dramatic effect like a fade out..or err..something like that...yeeaah..." The janitor turned the lights out again and took off.

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Hmm..Well wasn't that special? Hopefully MGS fans and just regular readers alike have enjoyed this. Please R&R. I need other people's opinions on this fiction, because if i have enough readers and positive feedback, i'll continue it. If not, then i'll probably just stop it here. anyways, peace out all.  



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